Dear Blog,

I have missed you. But it has been a very busy week. I thought my water broke last Thursday afternoon but it was just a false alarm or should I say "accident". Anyway it got me motivated to
get the baby clothes washed and purchase a few items that I needed for the baby and myself.
I am a few centimeters dilated and experiencing lots of contractions but nothing serious enough to go rushing to the hospital. I am still slowly unpacking boxes and putting things away but the house is almost done. Being without the Internet and TV has been surprisingly good for everyone. It is amazing what the imagination can do when left to run wild. Pirates have been running our hallways and a great deal of time is spent outdoors. This is beginning to feel like a summer vacation after all.
Now we have some very special family visiting, a beauty named Hope and her life loving brother Isaiah...oh yeah and their parents too!
So life is good and waiting isn't so hard when there is so many things going on around you.
Happy Summering Blog! I will try and write soon but in the meantime know that I am enjoying listening to the crickets chirping outside and spending time with my pirate crew.
Will let you know about baby #4 as more develops!
PS any name ideas? We have nothing!

Love, Carrie

Well I survived! The move to campus was a success and I even had my first visitor today from the outside world and they found us in our little corner tucked ever so privately in back.
I have to be honest I laid in bed last night apologizing to God for being such a pitiful child. When I first learned of this move I cried, I dug in my heels I begged that it didn't have to be so. During the process of fixing, cleaning, choosing colors for the walls, deciding on floors, I did it with a sigh of doing what has to be done. But last night as I lay in my bed and looked around I was overwhelmed by how beautiful this home turned out. It truly is stunning and all the things I love are currently under its roof and so happy to be there. I realized I owed God a big apology.

"Sorry God, for thinking I deserved an easy road to get here where everything has come together for all of us. Sorry for looking at a blessing as a curse and sorry for my lack of trust and vision. You always take care of me better than I could ever imagine or dream for myself. Thank you for not giving up on me."

So there it is. NOW ......I am ready to have this baby. It could come anytime and it would be just fine. I am not ready by any means but at least have a warm wonderful home to bring it home to!

PS We will not have internet until the 5th of July. But keep checking up on my sideline, I will post when Doug carts me to his office.

A New Day

A new day is truly a blessing. With the rising of the sun comes a new perspective on yesterdays problem. Yesterdays sadness changes to resolve with a new dawn. Yesterdays challenges are met with a new energy as the world changes from dark to light.

This been a trying week. People I love struggling with issues that I am powerless in fixing.
But my ever faithful Lord has blessed me again with this strength and peace that I can't explain. Yes I have felt powerless but never hopeless. And as the week wears on even empowered by realizing that hope rises with the sun. God does not lose battles. This bit of wisdom came to me on Monday night just the day I needed it most. And the full truth of this statement was finally revealed to me yesterday.

No God does not lose battles and when we place our trust in Him he leads us through whatever challenges we face. It may seem that he is losing, his own Son had to suffer a crucifixion after all in order to rise again, not to mention he also had to fall down, be humiliated, beaten and betrayed. So do we all have our Calvary, crosses, and dying of self to do before we can rise up stronger in faith.

Today, I am comforted by the fact that no one ever does anything alone. Just as I will be given the Graces I need when I need them in order to live my vocation and carry my cross, so too will all the others that I love.

Tonight I wanted to treat the kids to Dairy Queen (OK and me too-hee hee) and although I know a straight path to get there I ended up taking some weird side streets that kept ending in dead ends and forcing me to drive down other side streets. Well, I ended up in a part of town that was not familiar and very run down. The neighbors were all out talking, laughing and socializing and I looked at them and thought, "what could they possibly be laughing about? I could not live in a neighborhood like this and be happy". And then I remembered that I lived in a canvas tent with no plumbing in Yosemite for two months. And the funniest thing, when I left there I vowed to myself that I would always try to live simply, posses only what was necessary and stay close to things that really mattered like my faith and nature because I had been so truly happy living like that. Working at the Ahwahnee hotel in their 5 star restaurant I saw my fair share of people who missed the whole point of visiting a beautiful place like Yosemite. I felt sorry for them because they seemed more interested in being treated well than truly enjoying why a hotel was built there in the first place. Because they seemed so focused on the wrong things and not what a breathtaking place they were in. Powerful waterfalls cascading down rock faces. Meadows and meandering trails. Challenging hikes leading to the tops of these formations that truly put you on the top of the world. I remember standing on the top of Half Dome a hike that took me over 6 hours to finish, tested every part of my physical and mental strength and looking down on the valley. The stillness and quiet is like nothing I ever experienced before. Neither is the feeling of being so small in this great big world. Standing on top looking down you see clearly how insignificant your problems are. How simple life can be. And how gorgeous and tremendously vast the horizon is when you are above it all and looking it over.
I seem to have lost that perspective somewhere between then and the last 14 years of my life. I forgot that the view is limited from the valley. And there is a peace when you look down at everything as it really is, which is really small and insignificant. I am remembering that I can be happy anywhere when my perspective is not on the little things. I actually enjoy everything a lot more when I have less. I am embarrassed at myself because lately I have been so worried that the house we will be moving into is too small for us at 1900 square feet; our first apartment was about 400 sq ft. and that canvas tent I lived in ... it was roughly the size of a small bedroom and it had NO plumbing! I lived the best 2 months of my life there! Less square feet means my family will be that much closer to me and I will have less space to fill up with stuff which further impairs my perspective.
I have met a lot of lonely people who sit in their big houses and still find things they are lacking, mostly their kids because they are off in their own rooms living separate lives. And I have never driven through a "nice" neighborhood and seen people gathering outside impromptu, to talk with their neighbors, share their lives with each other or laugh on a summer evening!

Sheryll Crow has a song with the lyric, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got" I love that motto. And I really, really want what I've got right now.

Johnny Mathis -- Chances Are

I love Johnny Mathis. It is one of the many things my mother in law Jeanette and I have in common. Imagine my pure joy when I received this 50th Anniversary CD and DVD in the mail from her. We have been listening to it all morning, it's Wonderful, Wonderful!

Ready for Battle!

Our Vacation Bible Boot Camp sadly came to a close today.

I have to say, I had the best week. I probably had as much fun as the kids did. It was one of those experiences that you can feel the Holy Spirit alive and active right at your side. All the volunteers were incredible people and everything came together perfectly. I myself was personally blessed with a strength of body and soul that lasted all week.
The kids are awesome! I really fed off their energy. When I see so many children singing God's praises and praying together it fills me with so much hope and joy. It makes me feel empowered as a parent that I can change the world by raising faithful children. I just love the ages of my children right now, they still will sing their hearts out without embarrassment, they are quick to share their faith and love for God with others, they listen attentively and love others with their whole being. I feel like blessings upon blessings have been poured out on me.

It truly was wonderful and because I was so busy during the day I was unable to take pictures, but I was promised a copy of the CD of pictures that were taken. So when I have them I will post.

I wish I could share more, but for now I absolutely must go to bed.

Just read this book in one night. Very powerful and moving book about faith and discovery of God's hand working in this woman's life during the Rwanda Genocide of 1994.

Soldiers of God

We will be busy with Vacation Bible School all week so I am afraid this sideline will be stale during that time. I hope to offer a full report with pictures at the end of this crazy week (if it doesn't send me into labor!)
Stay tuned!